Context: I wrote this piece trying to synthesize my thoughts and how the need for a humane form of historical justice rings true across borders, in addition to my sense of nationalism. The original text in Filipino is interchanged with the English translation. Mahabang Hugot Part 1 Why the need to look back into the painful past? It's as if we're asking why the need to love. How are we to truly love that which we don't know? Shall we stop loving as we see the wounds and darkness of those we love? Bakit kailangan magbalik-tanaw sa masakit na nakaraan? Parang tinatanong natin bakit kailangan mag-mahal. Paano tayo magmamahal nang lubos sa hindi natin kakilala? Titigil ba tayo sa pagmamahal kapag nakita na natin ang mga sugat at kadiliman ng mga mahal natin? That’s how it’s like for our nation. How could we be humane if we were too preoccupied with our own selves and unable to grieve the loneliness of others? If our personal safety were enough despite the widespread killings of the poor, and human and environmental defenders? How are we “Filipino” if we could only see our family, and at times, those who come from the same city or province as us? Ganoon din para sa ating bayan. Paano natin masasabi na tayo ay makatao kung masyadong abala sa sarili at hindi makikiramay sa kalungkutan ng iba? Kung sapat na ang ating personal na kaligtasan bagamat patuloy ang malawakang pagpapatay ng mga mahihirap at tagapagtanggol ng karapatang pantao at pangkalikasan? Paano tayo “Pilipino” kung ang nakikita lang natin ay ang ating pamilya at paminsan-minsan, ang ating ka-bayan o ka-probinsya? If it were love, there’s responsibility. But it’s not that kind that’s “forced.” It’s natural – just like a spring from deepest depths of the heart that has to overflow and give life and honor to the beloved. That’s why it’s frightening to love. Because if it were “legit,” bestie, we know this comes with the readiness to be hurt and other than that, the difficult process of becoming even more loving. It’s impossible to remain unchanged if it were true loving. Kapag nagmahal, may responsabilidad. Ngunit hindi ito isang “pilit” na gawain. Ito ay natural – parang isang bukal sa kaibuturan ng puso na kailangan umapaw at magbigay-buhay at karangalan sa minamahal. Kaya nakakatakot magmahal. Kasi kung ito ay “legit,” besh, alam natin kasama nito ang kahandaan masaktan at bukod doon, ang mahirap na proseso na maging mas mapagmahal. Hindi pwede hindi magbago kung ito ay ganap na pagmamahal. Where is the need to look back into the dark truth of our history such as Martial Law under Marcos Sr.? First, it comes with loving our nation and giving honor to known and (even more) unknown heroes and heroines who chose to fight for democracy and human rights, even though if they knew fear. Saan dito ang pagbabalik-tanaw sa malagim na katotohan ng ating kasaysayan kagaya ng Martial Law ni Marcos Sr.? Una, nakalakip sa pagmamahal sa bayan ang pagbibigay pugay sa mga bayaning kilala at (mas maraming) hindi kilala na pinili ipaglaban ang demokrasya at karapatang pantao, kahit sila man ay nakaranas ng takot. Second, only love would provide the ample meaning in looking back in order for this to become a humane step towards justice and healing. If there were love, we would learn that #NeverForget and #NeverAgain are not part of a hate campaign against the Marcos Family. We need these for our pambansang diwa or “national soul” if there were really meaning behind being a Filipino. True loving is never blind – it desires the honor and what is good for the beloved; not the forgetting of the experiences and identity of the beloved. Ikalawa, ang pagmamahal lamang ang magbibigay nang angkop na saysay sa pababalik-tanaw upang maging hakbang ito sa makataong hustisya at paghilom. Kung may pagmamahal, malalaman natin na ang #NeverForget at #NeverAgain ay hindi hate campaign laban sa mga Marcos. Ito ay kinakailangan ng pambansang diwa o ”national soul” kung talagang may prinsipyo ang pagiging Pilipino. Ang tunay na pagmamahal ay kahit kailanman hindi bulag – ninanais nito ang karangalan at kabutihan para sa minamahal; hindi ang pagkakalimot sa mga karanasan at identidad ng minamahal. Forgetting and closing our eyes to the truth are totally different from forgiveness, healing and reconciliation. In the deepest depths of our hearts, we know this. Listen. Ang pagkakalimot at pagpikit sa katotohanan ay ibang-iba sa pagpapatawad, paghilom at reconciliation. Sa kalalim-laliman ng ating mga puso, alam natin ito. Makinig. *The pictures are from Dark Memories: Remembering the Victim-Survivors of Martial Law by Rick Rocamora. The exhibit could be visited at UP Diliman Academic Oval from April 1-30. *Ang mga larawan ay mula sa Dark Memories: Remembering the Victim-Survivors of Martial Law ni Rick Rocamora. Pwede puntahan ang exhibit sa UP Diliman Academic Oval mula Abril 1-30.
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September 2022
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