Among other aspects in life, I’ve found my views and feelings about mental health to be in flux. Growing up in the Philippines, there’s truly no shortage of resilience – though there is much to contest about what “resilience” really is, especially at the absence of dignified living and compassion for some. Due to our seeming obsession with “resilience,” it’s not too hard to understand how we end up ridiculing those who struggle with mental health concerns. I also think there’s a national allergy against introverts. We tend to find it weird if people tend to authentically enjoy solitude and alone time. These labels and concepts, though possibly limiting, are at the very least, helpful to put in a few names to identify, questions, deconstruct and reclaim.
We were requested to organize a session on “contesting counseling” and again, flux. It was only recently due to a lot of necessary adulting and grieving that I’ve come to a whole new appreciation of mental health and counseling. To “contest” counseling seemed as if I would have to invalidate the ongoing progress that I’m experiencing, especially as I tie my lessons from counseling and exploration of holistic health as foundational to a more compassionate and less judgmental stance towards my own healing, in addition to the injustices I witness due to my advocacy work. Feelings of hesitation, defiance and exhaustion always seem to plague me when I feel those that are life-giving to me seem to be challenged. How have I ended up to be this resistant and insecure with my personal realizations? Where’s my supposed adventurous self? On the other hand, there’s this gut feeling telling me that as certain as there are neither perfect models nor methods, than perhaps there is something within the realm of mental health and counseling that ought to be contested? Perhaps there is an area within these vast realms that have been hijacked or perhaps due to our capitalist systems, monopolized and commercialized? We were able to invite two counsellors to serve as guests. I have met them due to a twist of fate and advocacy work. For the “twist,” it was because of the passing of my Mother that I was able to explore grief counseling with Tita (term of endearment that means “auntie”) Myr. On the other hand, because of feminist identity and human rights work, it was not too long before I came across a passionate group of young feminist peer counselors of whom Janine was one of them. Getting to engage Tita Myr and Janine with my other GMF Fellows and Dr. Nat, my hesitations of questioning counseling were channeled into gratitude. How did we again end up here, in this online safe space of encounter? How did we end up surviving our own experiences of death, disenchantment and cynicism – though barely breathing at times – yet still want to learn how to heal with others through encounter? There was really a sense of wonder for me on that day. The emphasis on co-journeying, love and mission for Tita Myr made it all the more evident that despite the gnawing pain of lifelong loss, grief – at the right time – begets life. At the end, what is grief but love in all its stubbornness and wonder, even at the seeming absence of the beloved? And from Janine: solidarity and care. Feminist counseling names the injustices, and requires counselors to become advocates. Care is both pleasurable and inseparable from activism. Otherwise. how would feminist advocates be any different from the patriarchal oppressors they seek to challenge and strip off their oppressive powers? With these alternative forms of counseling, I’m all the more aware how there is much meaningful work within the realm of health and counseling. In particular, that there are those who seek a psycho-spiritual and empowering framework within this realm. As I continue my training as an upcoming feminist peer counselor, and reflect on my experiences as mental health first responder, I hope to write more on these unexpected movements in my life. Like with other life surprises, being a peer counsellor a fruit of my ongoing journeying as an advocate who seeks to be in solidarity with those who are hurting.
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September 2022
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