I wrote this piece to process my recent fieldwork to Manila North Cemetery, one of the oldest and biggest cemeteries in Metro Manila. Despite the resilience of urban poor communities who have either "chosen" or were forced to make a living in the cemetery grounds, I was primarily bothered by the overwhelming injustices that plague us - the supposedly "living." What are we to make of the fact that we're so transient yet undeniably called to do what we can for a more just and loving world? Memento Mori. Remember Her. We should think of death more often. What's more humbling than to know that however old we’d get, or how high up the ladder we’d go, we will still spend most of our lives “dead,” or on the other side of Ether? Of course there are still possibilities of nothingness and reincarnation waiting (depends on who’s doing the existential questioning). We celebrate or mourn our years away, all but a fragment of the life-giving yet unforgiving wonder of the cosmos. Personally, I believe there’s “Something” waiting on the other side. If not, what else are we to do with the gut-wrenching beauty of this Design? Or the stubbornness of Love within and beyond lifetimes? Personally still, I wonder if I’d ever reach that state of Grace: to welcome Death as my supposed Sister? In about the right number of years, all grand mausoleums and modest markers long to crumble into dust – just like the bones of their supposed owners. Who then owns in death and who was owned in life? And our love story, seeming so unconventional, is but a repeat and reversal of those who’ve gone ahead. Love echoes, you see. It refuses to be original – It refuses to be mortal. One would think the unpredictable finiteness of life makes it evident: Live now. Love always. Forgive. How can we leave spaces of indifference and limit our lives to temporal and yes, selfish safety? It’s because we’ve forgotten Death. And in return, turned our back on Life.
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September 2022
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